A Poem, By Rachel (Fibro-Girl’s Fibromyalgia)

My evil heart brims with hatred.

Upon Fibro-Girl and all who surround her, I tread

Heavily with my fat, smelly feet

Such that I shall never be beat

I pummel Fibro-Girl with glee

And Fibro-Girl hollers, “Leave me be!”

But all can certainly hear my laughter

Or so I assume, for you see

You should know I’m insane, before as well as hereafter.

I am not a poet

Nor is Fibro-Girl, ya know it!

Neither she nor I

Has taken a poetry course

And that is probably why

This poem lacks poetic force.

I’m not sure that “force” made sense in the above stanza

But I used it anyway, because it rhymed with “course,” bonanza.

There I did it again.

I think this poem fizzled when

I got all meta-poetic

So I think it’s now time for this poem to end, and thus it won’t be very epic.

Important Message from Fibro-Girl:

Please don’t like Rachel (my fibromyalgia).  Please remember that she is evil, and not the good, fun, oppressed, deserving-of-pity, or misunderstood kind of evil, but the psychopathically evil kind of evil.  If there is anything positive about Rachel, it was really me, Fibro-Girl.  Naming my fibromyalgia carries the risk of making her/it likable, so please be careful and don’t do that.  Thanks! :-)

Love,

~Fibro-Girl

Pain Scales can be Fun!

There’s a hilarious blog, called Hyperbole and a Half, which contains a vastly improved version of the pain scale. While it’s clear that this improved pain scale has universal applicability, it really suits fibromyalgia well, far better than the traditional one.

In addition to the usefulness of the new pain scale itself, the hilarity of the blog also has great utility for fibromyalgia and other pain sufferers. When the pain isn’t severe enough to blind one’s funny senses, humor is a fantastic way to distract yourself from fibromyalgia owies, or, fibrowies. That portmanteau formation pales in comparison to but was inspired by this other hilarious blog that is written by a brilliant and hilarious (brilarious) comedian, Myq Kaplan. I don’t think I said “hilarious” enough.

UPDATE: April 29, 2011

While fibro-googling for something (I don’t remember what), I came across this fibro-humor.  Some of it is kind of funny-ish and/or relatable.